![]() "It's really up to you and your partner to set the limits of what's okay for punishment and what's not.” ![]() ![]() “Punishment can include spankings, slapping, choking, use of restraints, or (consensually) forcing your partner into sexual acts," says Daniel Saynt, founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness, a private members Open Love club for the adventurous. For example, if the submissive partner is a "brat" (a sub who enjoys disobeying their dom’s rules), a dom might give you a spanking as a punishment for being naughty. “There’s no one-size-fits-all playbook for punishment, and not every kinky relationship uses it.”Įvery couple is free to determine the type and severity of punishments they want to use-and the options are essentially endless. “Punishment is a behavior modification tool used in some dynamics to train or discipline a submissive when they’ve defied a boundary or disobeyed an order,” explains Charyn Pfeuffer, a sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating. But in BDSM-an umbrella term that encompasses bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism-punishment can be a major component of sex. When you hear the word “punishment,” sex probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind. ![]()
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